We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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