He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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