I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
