I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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