I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Randomize
