i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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