We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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