Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
