Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
