I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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