Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
