I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
