woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
