I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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