"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
