oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
