Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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