she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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