Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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