Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
