I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
