so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
