does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
my being single is dangerous.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
