Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
