just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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