Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
