why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
