We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
