Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
