y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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