I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
