new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
