Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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