life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The uberlube is also flammable
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
