the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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