well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
