census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
