No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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