so that wasnt chicken after all
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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