I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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