I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
