the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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