marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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