your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
