I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
