Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
