Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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