I bet he comes in French.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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