You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
