Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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